for the spa Newbies

So you are feeling a little stressed out, you decide it is a good idea to go have a massage, GREAT! 
but there are a few fatal errors that people new to this make.

• Listening to the therapist- so u hop into the wrong bed, the wrong way round... and in a gown with your pants on, umm well that is not ideal, good luck having a full body over clothes.

• Underwear- OK so this has happened far to often to be coincidence, in Europe, USA and probably some Asian countries going nude is the thing to do, well that's great but in South Africa we are a little more conservative so please keep your panties, jocks on.

• body hair- women: surely you know your are having a treatment unless it is waxing 10months hair grow is not OK! even if there is no man in your life hire a gardener and get weed whacking. Men, being metro-sexual is all the rage right? going to a spa just proves you respect your body. OK forgive me if i am wrong if you are metro enough to go to a spa you surely are metro enough to get rid of the 10kgs excess back hair your carry with you. I have notice on more than one occasion that when massaging over said back hair, tiny dread-locks are made. so please, please, please do a little man-scaping.

•  Enjoying a massage- just because we touch your body, you do not have the right to touch ours. We are trained to manipulate tissue to bring about relaxation and ease muscle strain. THAT IS ALL. don't think you are cleaver by asking us to massage a little higher, we know all the tricks. If you do happen to pitch a tent during your massage do us the favour and think of your grandmother.Oh and asking for any sexual favours is really unforgivable. if u are with that kind of therapist she will let you know.

• Bodily moments- it is completely normal to need the loo during a massage since we stimulate peristaltic movement and encourage a diuretic effect, but if you feel as though you are a about to let one rip, just tell your therapist you need the loo, slip off do your business and return, it saves a lot of embarrassment and the professional relationship between you and your therapist.

• Timing- please be early for your treatment often you are not the only client so by you being late the therapist will feel rushed and not give of her best and chances are your treatment will be cut shorter.

• Know what you want- there are so many types of massage these day if you are unsure ask! tell your therapist exactly where you would like her to focus and what pressure you like. You are not brave if u walk away crying! throughout the treatment just try relax, have a little sleep even a snore.

• Snoring- most people are embarrassed when the discover they have been snoring, but unless it sounds like a bag of angry suicidal cats on steroids i would not worry it is a compliment to a therapist if she has made you sleep.

• Tipping- this is not essential but is loved by the therapist and should only be done when you feel it is deserved, maybe she went out of her way and gave u a little extra time, tipping is a good way to show your appreciation. there is no set amount either if it is in note form she will be happy,

i hope this helps you be the best newbie you can be